---> Don't dream it's over

My room is a mess, my head is a mess, my thoughts are a mess and I leave tomorrow.

This is the part of my life that overtakes anything hard that I have had to pass through in my life. Today I farewelled two of my closest friends here, maybe forever. I couldn't cry, the reality of what will happen tomorrow at 9.20 at night still hasn't sunk in fully.

Do you know what it's like to sit with your two absolute best friends, and think that maybe you'll see them again soon, maybe not. The friends that have gone through the same experience as you, that you have bonded with in the 6 months you have known them, to a point that you're unseperable. I really can't write, the tears are falling steadily now.

It's life.

I have been blessed to have had a wonderful host family, that always supported me and loved me, sisters who were like my best friends and an older brother who told me off if I wore a top that showed too much chest. The stupid things we did together, like when Ade and I were awake on a bus at 2am holding our breath until the bus reached more than 100kmph and the beeper went off. All the good memories, but now they're in the past. And the two suitcases sitting on the floor of my room are the future.

The antics of me and my friends. Bunking class to sit and talk, and hiding when the inspector came. (Sorry AFS, I promise it didn't happen often). Drawing on my legs in class, taking stupid funny photos and eating pizza at friend's houses. Looking after my tipsy friends, who were very economic drinkers. Nearly having our money robbed by gypsies.

The exchange students, the best friends I've ever had. Singing reggaeton in every place we go. The mall, the plaza, department stores, living rooms, taxis, AFS meetings, parties. Teasing each other about who we kissed at parties. Drinking tea. Drinking tequila and pisco, vodka and rum, beer and cherry liqueur. Pushing each other into pools. It's so hard to say goodbye to that. I can't accept that it WILL be gone. 

It's like that whole side of my life has died. 

I'm a different person now. I want with all my heart to be able to stay here, but there's something special about being an exchange student and there is a kind of magic in knowing you have a year and only a year in a certain place. It gives one a new perspecive on life. The hard times are extremely hard, yes, but the good  times and SO AMAZINGLY GOOD.

With that, I'll get back to packing my life in two suitcases.